Friday, March 28, 2008

6 months already

I can't believe that my daughter is 6 months old already. I can't believe that just a few months ago I was giving birth to her and holding her for the first time. I can't believe how I have fallen in love with this baby.
I had a dear friend (who doesn't have children of her own) ask me a couple weeks ago, "Do you love her as much as you do William?" and "Do you love him the same now that she is here?". Two very reasonable questions, if you don't have multiple children. I asked that question to myself so many times when I was pregnant with M. And my answer to her was a surprising, "Yes!". And it's true. I do love her as much as I do him, yet I don't love him any less. How does that work?
Me being a 'numbers' girl, it just doesn't add up. If you have 100% love to offer to your offspring, and you have one. You give him 100% of that love. Now when subsequent children come along, how do you divey it up? 50-50? 70-30? 100-0? or 0-100? How is it that parents can do 100-100? Where did that other love come from? Why wasn't it being used on the first child if it was available. Do you grow an additional 100% while the child is in utero? Then where does the dad get it from? See what I mean - it doesn't add up.
I've taken a big step and decided not to try to figure it out. I love him completely. I love her completely. I just accept it.
On a bigger subject, how does God do that? How does He love ALL of us? There's one question I'd like to ask Him in heaven. In the mean time, the same will have to apply. I just accept it.

Here are some pics of Maddie last week on her 6 month birthday.




That is her death grip on her baby food bowl.
At the beginning of the meal, she grabbed a hold so aggressively and flipped the bowl over and it's content onto the chair and in her lap. She was so aggressive, you'd think we were starving her. But anyone who has seen her knows she is well fed.
She would just like more and more 5 minutes ago.

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